A Winning Season

I have a rule when someone is giving me advice: Never take advice from someone you wouldn’t swap places with. If you’re reading this: remember that.

Here is my resume: I have been a Coach’s wife for 13 years. This is our 17th season as a team, but the REAL stat that means the most: I have been a mother for 8 seasons. See, coaching life and coach’s wife life is the easiest when it is just you and coach. Sure, I was slightly lonely but if Coach was out coaching, and I was bored; I went and ran marathons. I went shopping. I went home to spend time with my family and friends. When we added to the roster, it wasn’t just me and Coach. We had other people depending on us. This is where the season stressing enters. However, on season 8, I think we won, I think I have the winning game plan.

Here is my play book:

1. If it bothers me: Coach knows it. I say it. If it bothers Coach: I know it. He will say it.

   It breaks my heart into a million pieces when I see coaching families struggling because something is bothering the wife, (usually time the coach spends away from home), and nothing is ever communicated about it. Honestly, this was us in some seasons. Now, nope. “Hey. I am finding myself jealous of your silent 15 minute commute to and from home. I have children with me ALLLLLL day. I need a moment of peace.” I said this one mid season. So we sat down and worked out a solution, Coach had to alter his schedule a bit to start helping with taking Cart to school.

   “Hey. I am not going to the UGA game this Saturday. I am exhausted. I can’t keep running like this.” So, we all missed a few UGA games last season, or Coach went with friends and we had a day at home.

I was also finding myself mad about morning practices. I was actually using it as a social media platform for a minute. Then one day (recently) Coach said: “It upsets me when I have to tell you about morning meetings and practices. I can’t change it. It makes it harder when you complain.” So….. ummmmm….. that hurt. But I stopped complaining.

I think the problem is not FOOTBALL or time Coach spends gone and away from home: It might be if we voice our opinion and feelings and nothing changes. I had to learn that this isn’t a coaching issue. This is a husband and wife issue and this needs to be addressed immediately. We have to correct this problem quick.

2. Coach wears an Apple Watch that has phone capability. Why did this help? BECAUSE IF I AM CALLING YOU…… YOU BETTER ANSWER. I don’t call to see how your day was. I HATE talking on the phone. I would NEVER call just to say HEY. No SIR. If I am calling you, pick up the phone ehhhh watch. I do not care if you are on the sideline of the state championship play and we are on the 3 yard line about to score to win it all. No. If I call…. answer. Something bigger than a championship is happening. (You have to know I fully 100% respect his coaching time and would never abuse this.)

I also may text: “Grab milk.” “I called in our dinner order. Pick it up on your way home.” There is ZERO guilt behind me needing to know I could call Coach IF I needed him.

3. Home cleaning service.

I will leave this at that. If our budget changed this would be the first thing I could cut. I know this. However, once we started using a cleaning service in our home, she became family. We love her. I am a better Coach’s wife and mother because this was taken off of my plate. I knew it was time to find some help when I was finding myself angry at coaching because house chores were falling behind.

4. Routine. Coach is coaching, but that does not excuse him from anything else. You still have to walk in the door and be 100% for the people in this house. We have a routine. I cook dinner, and he does the dishes. I give the children a bath, and he starts/ folds the laundry. We have an open line of communication that cleared this up when our first born arrived. I can’t do everything. We both like a clean house. We have to work together. You can’t preach “teamwork” on the field and not show it in your home.

5. Mama’s Moment. I hire a babysitter to come to my house once a week at 5pm. It is usually just for 2 hours. It allows me to do things I need to do child free. I am a small business owner and teacher as well. During the season I was feeling overwhelmed getting it all done. I was staying up until midnight each night and up at 4:30am. I just couldn’t keep up. So I hired help. It is amazing what those 2 hours do for my mental health. Honestly, in the season everything other than coaching takes a backseat. I started finding myself “wishing the season was over” and that is NOT how I want to live our life. So I had to hire help. (If you have family close, this would be the perfect grandparent evening activity.I bet they would LOVE to come do dinner/ bed routine once a week for you) We don’t, so our “Mar Mar” saves the day and my sanity.

6. One calendar. As soon as coach knows of a date or I know of something he CAN’T miss, we text each other and then put it on our calendar. Coach is the BEST at telling me things immediately after he hears them. Again, it took 17 seasons…. but here we are.

7. Date Nights. It is hard. There is literally NO time. But sometimes, we need a dinner reservation and a peaceful meal that doesn’t come from Chick-fil-a. Make the time.

8. Prayer. Y’all…… I live my best season when I am closest to my church family and friends and I am in my Bible daily. Sure I will have my mid-season meltdown. However, I found myself thriving 90% of the season last season because I was closer to Jesus than ever before. I promise, I will pray with you.

May your season be full of wins and your mid season meltdowns be small, friend!

A Tan Suit

Today Coach took this photo:

It has me quite obsessed with a tan jumpsuit. This particular jumpsuit was a treasure I found at my local Ross. It doesn’t need an iron. The details are great. It was perfect to throw on for church this morning and if I am being honest, the hardest part of this outfit was picking which gems to pair with it. The tan color goes great with all of my neutral Two Hidden Gems.

So I went on the hunt to find the exact suit that I could link.

I found this.

The price is slightly higher than I expected. I would consider this jumpsuit worth the price since you could wear it with so many different gems, but I wanted to find some different/ less expensive options. Again, real life over here.

I found this. I love the look. I love the price. I love it.

THIS. THIS is the BEST. I have linked it before and have many friends purchase it and tell me how much they love it. I am OBSESSED with the quality. The price? $32? Yes, please.

Again, the goal here is:

Comfort.

Goes with lots of different Two Hidden Gems.

No iron is a plus.

Can wear it on Saturday, Sunday, and to work.

RealLifeCoachsWife

Okay!
(Recently found out I say that at the start of every conversation.)

If you’re new here…. Welcome. Welcome. We love new friends.

I’m Carley. I’m married to Coach. We have 2 children, Calla and Cart. We also have 2 Weims: Wynn and Nat. (As in “Win and “National Championship”) We are a tad over the top.

I’m a coach’s wife.
Mama.
Teacher.
Co-owner of a small business with my best Gem.

I have a tiny little home that we’ve outgrown, but it’s 2024 and….. yes. It’s 2024. We absolutely LOVE our location, this old house, and our neighbors. I honestly don’t think I could ever leave my front porch. However, I know the name of the game and I never say never. So I always say: I’m grateful for this chapter.

I’m all about RealLife and if I’m being honest….. seasons are really hard. I get it.

In the chaos of every season I like to cook dinners for my family in 20 minutes, spend 2 hours on a Thursday in my silent classroom after contract hours, wear pull on pants, find the best suits and fool the world into thinking they are work appropriate, and cheer for Coach’s team on Fridays. Most of all: I love cheering for you. And praying. Lots and lots of praying.

#RealLifeCoachWifeLife

One Hundred Percent

Something I wanted to do this year in 2024 was to step out of my comfort zone. Honestly, I have done a horrible job of that. I like comfort. I like safe. I thrive in the “normal flow” of life. So this morning I made a reel of me working out/ lifting weights and I said a prayer, took a deep breath, and hit post.

It was way out of my comfort zone. But, 2024.

And in a few hours I have received many messages and comments that I wasn’t really expecting.

What type of shorts are you wearing?

What are your current macros set at?

How long have you been lifting?

One that was the most frequently: How do you get up and workout in the morning? Aren’t you exhausted?

See, that was the point of the post. I am NOT a morning person. YES, I am absolutely exhausted from time to time. However, if I am going to work out at all, it has to be done in the morning. I can’t rearrange everyone’s schedule for me to go to the gym. So, 5am it is. I need my home to be in order, and my workout to not disturb that. So, 5am.

Which brings me to this: I can’t do anything else… if I am not 100% at home.

What?

I can’t be a good teacher that is prepared, thriving, and giving my all if my HOME is not 100%.

I can’t be a good small business owner, bringing content, keeping things in order, delivering a product, giving my all if my HOME is not 100%.

I can’t be a good friend, listening, loving, being someone that is fulfilling and not draining to be around, and giving my all if my HOME is not 100%.

I can’t be Carley…. giving my all to anything if my HOME is not 100%.

Coaches: You can be winning in every season: But if your HOME is not 100%…. that is a loss.

What’s 100% in our home?

Order. Structure. Calmness. Peace. Meals cooked. Dinner conversations. Family church services. Communication. Spending time together.

Several times recently I found myself losing my peace. I felt…. in a funk. I knew something was off. I was constantly playing referee between Cain children. I was snapping at Coach. I was falling behind in some assignments needing attention for a class. I had NO motivation to approach things. I had no motivation to create meals. This little corner of the field was neglected. I was meh. Things that usually bring me joy and help me feel my purpose, I found myself lacking interest.

I was exhausted. I was doing everything…. at about 20%, Home was not 100% Everything was lacking.

I can eat as healthy as possible. I can read all of the books. I can stay late on a Thursday and have every lesson planned and ready. I can have gems ready and content planned for days. I can be in every endorsement and extra school activity that is offered…. and look like life is THRIVING on the outside…. but if my home is not 100%…. then I am surviving.

So if you find yourself under a cloud and just not functioning at 100%, check your home.

My daily prayer is that our home is at 100 percent.

My Pool Bag

Summer is here. The daily 90* and higher temps are here. The Cain Crew…. lives in the pool/ waterpark/ ocean. I wanted a place to hold all of our pool bag favorites, so I made a list. I also noticed that lots of our favorite items are on major sale at the time of posting this.

(Just a reminder: I am paid a commission for sharing each link. These pennies are used in my classroom, to pay for this corner of the field, and allows me to share recipes and random thoughts. I thank you for the support.)

Calla wants you to know THESE are the best goggles made. 66% off currently.

My absolute favorite MOM swim top. LOVE LOVE LOVE the coverage. It is super comfortable.

Every kid loves these. I purchased two packs this year because last year they sold out.

We love these. I bought 4 because we always bring a friend.

This is what I use for the kids. I swear it is the best. NOT the spray. I love the lotion the most.

Add this for their faces.

This is what I wear on my face. In 2023 I spent some major time and pennies on my skincare. I LOVE this. It doesn’t make me breakout.

I try to never leave the house without a hat. Again, major work on my skincare in 2023.

Coach Cain wants everyone to know THIS is the best chair.

Calla has lived in these all summer. She says they are comfortable and wants another pair. She loves the pink.

I have been wearing these daily.

This. Spending the morning at the waterpark and the evening at the pool has us using towels and more towels. So I ordered this today to help dry our suits and towels.

Hours of beach time was spent with this toy set. It is small enough to throw in your bag and both Cain babies loved it.

Again, the Real Life Coach’s Wife Life Promise is to always share REAL LIFE items that I own, use, and love. The only item I have not put to use is the towel tree, but when it arrives Monday I am SO excited to use it.

I hope your pool season is full of wins!

What Are We Doing Today?

This morning it was 8:30am on a Saturday morning when Calla and Cart had gone through all of the daily tasks like breakfast, morning tv show, morning snack, playdoh, and were asking for a second snack… when Calla said: “Mama, what are we doing today that is fun. I’m ready to go.” I found my brain instantly thinking, “Oh, what are we doing fun today? I should load them up and take them to the park, but it is about to storm. We could go to Peachy Playtown…. but I really need to clean up the house and go to the grocery store.” I felt the guilt wave over me because it was about to rain, I didn’t really want to get dressed in real clothes. I had a list of house things that needed to be done. I just needed a day at home for my sanity on all other days that we are full speed.

“Calla, we are staying home this morning. You and Cart can play in your rooms, you can play in the living room, you can watch a movie, or you can help me clean up.” Instantly she starts with the, “But MAMA! I want to do something fun!”

Girl. Chill.

I’m not a bad mom for not planning a fun activity every single day. I am not a bad mom for planning an at home day on a Saturday to prep and plan for a week long vacation quickly approaching.

So today we stayed home.

And guess what…. they played for two hours with the toys they have. I heard them playing house and then playing grocery store. I got all of our laundry done and then put away. I got the house picked up and the grocery list made. I got the bathrooms clean. We took naps. We went to the grocery store. We played outside and Coach grilled steaks.

Everyone survived a day at home with nothing fun on the agenda. (Calla did have acting class from 1-4, so she really did have a fun activity.)

If you’re in the season of your children wanting a “Disney World” activity every single day…. it is PERFECTLY FINE to have a day at home. I promise, your children will make their own fun.